Day #10-11

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday, I have been SO busy!

Yesterday was monumental because I have officially reached double digits in my total days of being in SA. Something else extremely noteworthy occurred yesterday as well. When I got in Robyn's car yesterday morning when she fetched me to go to church, there was a bottle in my seat. As I picked it up to move it to the backseat, I realized that it was a bottle of ranch dressing. Immediately realizing it was for me, I looked at Robyn, who had a huge smirk on her face. For those of you who do not know me... ranch is a big deal. I eat ranch on pretty much everything at home and if there is no ranch in the refrigerator, there's an issue. Although it may sound silly, surprise ranch really made my day.

We have just about finished up everything in preparation for Holiday Club next week, thank goodness! Today we had an all-day leadership training for all of those participating next week. Over 150 teens and young adults are pretty much responsible for teaching, worship and preparing. This is mind blowing to me considering that I come from a rather small church compared to Eastside. Anyways, it was nice to become better acquainted with the youth and also the people I will be working with next week.

Also, Adolf and I took several pictures together last night so that he could ensure that he would make another appearance on my blog this week. (Pictures below)

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Blogging has been much more difficult today than usual.  There are so many things on my mind that I can't focus on one topic and put it in words. I have also been extremely careful in the deciding of my blog posts as I feel that it could be much more powerful than originally expected or planned. You see, I've realized that a lot of the things that I am going through are also similar issues to those of others that have been reading my blogs. The feedback and random responses in efforts of outreach have been outstanding. I want my blog to obviously reflect what I'm doing here in SA on a daily basis but I also want to share whatever God puts on my heart each day.

In saying that, the predominant topic that has been on my mind lately is prayer.

Prayer is a common term but often done infrequently. I say this solely from my own experience. When I was younger, I would say my prayers with my parents each night before I went to bed. Similarly, I would pray the same old "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food..." (I actually say the same prayer for dinner to this day)

Anyways, the point I'm making is that as I grew up, prayer became less common at night or for any time for that matter. As I got older, I still attended church daily, was super active in the youth, tried to live life pleasing to God but rarely prayed. I lost sight of how important it was to just talk to God even if it didn't include anything important. 

To be quite honest with you, the thought of praying aloud in a group setting has always been pretty nerve wrecking to me. Even though I'm a pretty decent public speaker, praying in front of others just freaks me out. I always worried about saying the wrong things or stumbling through improper sentences as I spoke.

When my parents said their goodbyes to me at the airport before I left the U.S. I teared up momentarily but quickly tried to regain composure for the sake of my mom. I desperately wanted to be brave and strong for her as I knew that she was already worried enough. However, as soon as my parents disappeared out of site as the escalator lowered, I cried like a baby. True story. In that moment of loneliness, insecurity and just plain fright, I turned to the only person I knew in that airport- God. I prayed that he would strengthen my faith, allow me to trust him, and ultimately just be with me every step of the way.

God has a pretty funny sense of humor. When I first got to Eastside, Robyn and I were trying to figure out the best place for me during Holiday Club. Originally we discussed me being their “postman” which is basically a job that is all about prayer. You are the person that talks to the kids each day about prayer, and you are the person the kids come to pray with or to deliver notes to and from those that need prayer. As Robyn and I discussed it, I thought to myself “Okay God, I hear you loud and clear. You REALLY want me to work on my praying habits.” But then, Robyn said “Actually, I think it would be really cool if you just worked with the sixth and seventh graders”. Immediately I pictured God saying “I’ll cut you some slack this time” with a smirk on his face.

You see, even though I know God has great plans in store for me in helping others while I’m here, I feel like he also has plans for my relationship with him as well. Although it may sound silly, I have fallen in love with God all over again. He is the person that I go to for comfort, strength, guidance, knowledge, safety, support, and everything in-between. I am no longer afraid to pray aloud as I know that God will give me the right words to say even if I say the wrong thing, or stutter during the process. I find time for him every day, regardless of how busy I am or how tired I may be. God and I… we’ve become closer friends than ever before and for that I am so grateful.

Let God be that person for you.

xoxo

Taylor