Day #13

Call me a chicken if you want but I opted out of staying at the church after one night.  I realized that I am getting old, indefinitely. I realized that I can no longer sleep on the hard floor or go without at least six hours of sleep OR fight for bathroom space with 60 other girls at a time.

However, today I met my ten awesome 6th and 7th graders that are in my group! They are so much fun and I can not wait to see what the Lord has in store for us this week.

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Now, I must vent.

After 12 days of feeling great....day 13 was not so nice to me.

In the midst of the chaos of sleeping in a completely new place, with little privacy and little quiet.. the homesickness hit me and hard. I'm not blogging about it to achieve your pity or sympathy or to even make you worry, but rather to share with you every step (both good and bad) of this extraordinary journey.  Now I knew three months ago when I decided to partake in this trip that it was not going to be full of rainbows and happy times. I knew this day would eventually come.

However, despite the fact that all day today I thought about how easy it would be to just throw my hands up and say "I quit, take me back home", God still found a way to be persistent in my doubt.

Every night of the week of Holiday Club we have a revival service similar to ours at CBC. Tonight, during the FIRST night of the week, over 50 teens recommitted their lives to the Lord, breaking the chains and re-dedicating themselves. As I watched these teens, many that I have worked with, been in a group with and even developed friendships with, I just began to cry. And as I cried in overwhelming happiness and in awe of how massive this movement was, all of the sadness just seemed to be worthwhile. As we sang numerous powerful songs I felt a crystal clear message of God telling me "You're okay, tomorrow will be a better day".

You see, although God has blessed me with a sister that will let me cry to her over Skype while at work, and Jamie and William who never cease to amaze me in their encouragement and support, and parents, family and friends that care for me more than I ever realized, I have developed a similar support system here in SA. I have made friends who care for me and include me not because they have to but want to. I have developed a home away from home where I feel safe and comfortable. I have a family here that supports me and genuinely cares about what is going on with me and making sure that I'm okay. I am truly blessed to have met such great people here!

Tonight after the service, Mark Paul, one of the pastors and worship leaders that I've become friends with at Eastside took the time to hug me and tell me that he was glad I chose to come to South Africa. Regardless of if he could tell that I was having a bad day and was homesick, that in itself was God's way of showing me to just stick it out for a little longer. So thanks Mark, you are awesome!

I'm sure that this is only the first of numerous meltdowns and bad days that I will have during the next month and a half. BUT... I will choose to be patient and stand firm in God's word as I know great things are in store for me here in Pretoria.

Joshua 1:9 reads:
"This is my command- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".

I'm fine mom, I promise.

xoxo
Taylor