Seeing the World Through Different Eyes

As the plane touched down in the good ole' U.S.A. I quietly sent a message to about 20 of my South African friends to inform them that I had safely arrived back home. As I gathered my stuff together and fought the lines to pick up luggage, I wasn't quite sure what to think. It hadn't really set in yet that I was getting ready to see my parents again for the first time in 8 weeks. As I struggled to take three of my luggage bags by myself, wiping sweat from my forehead, I noticed  the messages from mom were pouring in. "Where are you?", "Are you getting ready to come through the doors yet?" and
"Have you gotten your luggage yet?". As I walked through the doors of the airport lobby I finally saw their  smiling faces anxiously waiting for me. As my mom wept tears of joy and hugged me as if she hadn't seen me in three years, I was overwhelmed but still not sure what to think about being home. I felt like a newborn giraffe who had not yet figured the world out.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing like being at home, but  for the past two months this wasn't home, Africa was home. I was still transitioning back into a different country. Back into a different time zone, a different season.

On the way home, I tried to sleep although the messages, posts and the calls all came flooding in. I was thrilled to see my nephew although at first he wasn't too sure about who I was or where I had been for so long. I was thrilled to see my friends, my sister, tmy church,  and thrilled to be back in my bed and back to warmer weather. I was thrilled to get to sleep in my own bed for the first time in two months but still, I just felt....off.

I was bombarded by questions. Everyone wanted to know the same questions and by the first week that I was home I could rehearse the usual answers to all the questions everyone was asking. It was like I was a celebrity in my own small town. People that I had never even met or even heard of for that matter were coming up to me in the grocery store saying "Welcome home" and "We're so proud of you". But I hadn't done anything spectacular. It was all God. I was just blessed to be of use to Him. I was thankful he allowed ME the opportunity to grow- to transform into a stronger believer.

Even still, throughout the first few weeks I was home I felt as if I were incomplete. It was like my physical body was back at home in VA but my head and my heart were back in South Africa. That sounds weird, I know. I love my family and I love my friends but I love South Africa and the friends and family that I made there too.  Memories of my trip left my heart sore and confused. I was happy to be home but I missed Africa in a way that was unexplainable. Unfathomable. .

I still talk to the Reyburns' and many of my friends from SA on a regular basis. They are still an important part of my life and still support me as I support them. It's still difficult to be away from them and not be able to see the sweet and smiling faces that I became attached to while I was there. It's heartbreaking to hear recordings of Scott and Cameron chuckling through greetings and "I miss you Auntie Taylor". However, I know it is all in God's timing and I am anxiously awaiting for him to send me back to Pretoria so that He can use me to further his kingdom. In the meantime, I'll hang out with my crazy youth at CBC and follow God wherever he leads me here in VA.

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A lot of things have changed since I've come home from Africa.
My future career choice has changed, the seasons have changed, the time has changed, people have changed, and circumstances have changed. Multiple friendships have changed, work schedules have changed and my priorities have most definitely changed.

But one thing that has yet to change is my burning passion for God and His purpose for me in this crazy world. In the midst of one disappointment to the next, the one thing that never fails is His unfailing love for me. His perfect peace that He gives me when the world feels like it's crashing down around me. The clear message that He gives me when He reminds me of those that have much more to complain about than the petty things that often frustrate me.

I often loose sight and fall back into the ordinary routine of life. I forget the monumental lessons that I learned while I lived without water, heat, a bed and indoor plumbing. I forget all that I have to be thankful for in the midst of griping and complaining about the homework that I have to do or the shifts that I'm working. I have to remind myself of the kids that were learning songs about how to protect themselves from rapists, teenagers never having the opportunity to go to college and parents working all day only to still struggle to keep their kids fed. I remember all of the things that once shocked me, broke me...changed me and I remember that I am not the person that I once was. But that's how Satan works. He distracts you. He tries to disable you- disarm you. I refuse to let Satan distract me.

So my point in all of this is that through all of the changes in life, I know that wherever I end up, and whoever I end up with, God will always be a constant and an important part of my life. He will be there to pick me up when I fall, to pick up the pieces when I feel broken, and to celebrate with me when I finally get things right.

 I will not let the enemy win....ever.
"Greater is he that is inside of me than he who is living in the world."

xoxo
Taylor